The Art of the Flame

[Kill_em_All]

In the vast expanse that is the internet a trend has begun to make it's way from site to site. That trend is the flame. The flame can be dated back to the earliest days of the internet when giant office-sized computers that required nothing short of a crew to operate could be used to send coded messages back and forth between locations, when the first poor sucker recieved text that simply read "ur mom". It was the beginning of an era that would dominate the world of web-forums for years to come, and provide countless hours of joy to millions of internet surfers during the time between masturbating and stealing music. In rememberance of that first poor sap, and since few can deny that I am a fucking pro at the topic of discussion, I now bring to you The Art of the Flame.

There are many different ways to flame, but only one that is overwhealmingly successful. This type of flame is what I like to call "verbally ruining someone's shit". This sort of flame cannot be contradicted and will instantly crown you king (or queen) of the flame at hand. I will demonstrate a typical verbal shit ruining for your reading pleasure:


dood, u r so ghey, ur mom suckz0rz! J00 just got pwned!


What an articulate post! Speaking of mothers, I am relatively certain that yours is proud. What parent wouldn't be elated to have an offspring who is as equally brilliant as he is well-spoken? People would agree that you make the internet the overwhealming success that is. My suggestion to you is before you respond, take the time that you were going to spend doing so and dial up your local community college to register for a remedial English class. Then come back when you can keep up with, at best, the most retarded fucking dunce on this site, you mindless waste of human flesh.

This is a prime example of the verbal shit ruining. It's not very laconic in nature, and requires a little bit of thought, but it definately gets the point across, and ultimately let's people know that you mean business.

If you payed close attention, you would have noticed that at the end of my flame I closed with a direct insult. This is very important in the verbal shit ruining. It is what I like to call "a deal closer". A deal closer is used to let the opposite flamer know that you know what he/she is all about. You know they're a worthless piece of shit, they know it, and the deal closer makes them aware that you know. A short list of deal closers would include (but is certainly not limited to) such paraphrases as:

, you fucking dipshit
, you ill-educated cunt
, you backwoods, country, shit-kicking, fucking DNA swap-meet
, you fucking clown shoe
, you product of an inbred abortion gone wrong
, you dumbass twat

There are many more, none of which I am inclined to list right now because I don't fucking have to.

The verbal shit ruining is clearly the best method of flaming to use, as you take a direct approach to letting the cock inhaler on the other end know that you aren't bullshitting, you have the sack to counter any and everything they throw your way, and you can do it in a manner that uses proper fucking English.

There are, of course, rules to flaming. Disqualifiers are definately present in many flame wars, although they generally don't end the flame. Such disqualifiers include (but again, are not limited to) the following:

1. Abbreviating the words "you", "your", or "you're". This eliminates you. Period. If you have to abbreviate four-letter words, you're either an inept fucking moron, or you're just plain lazy. Either way, you lose.

2. Referring to the opposite flamers mother (particularly when that reference also contains the abbreviated forms of the previously mentioned words, ie; "ur mom"). This is a very important rule. Honestly, if you participate in a flame, you should have enough mental capacity to focus directly on the opposing flamer and not bring his mother into the picture. This rule has an amendment, however.
a. One may refer to the opposing flamer's mother, if done so articulately. Simply stating that one had intercourse with the opposing flamer's mother is not good enough, however suggesting that one had forcable anal intercourse with an opposing flamer's mother while Ed McMahon masturbated in the corner wearing his grandmother's panties and smothering himself in peanut butter is perfectly acceptable (although not encouraged).

3. The use of the fucking CAPS LOCK KEY. You know, I used to type in all caps too, until I realized that I didn't want to end up fixing toilets for a living. Turn your fucking caps lock off, moron.

4. Thread hijacking. For those of you who don't know what thread hijacking is, it is when some moron decides to come into a thread that, until that point, was on topic. Changing the topic to start a flame war with either the topic starter, or anyone posting a reply is grounds for instant disqualification. The chances are, you will inevidably hijack a thread in your quest to be a dominant force in the world of flaming. Even yours truly has done it. If you have to hijack a thread, just make sure that you come back ten times stronger in another post to make up for it.

So that pretty much covers it (at least that's all I feel like writing right now because I just found nudes of Madonna on Mr. Skin. Deal with it). Now that you have been versed in the art of the flame, get out there and shit on someone's good day. Do it randomly. Take no prisoners, and pay special attention to hippies, liberals, democrats, homosexual males, and presbyterians. Just remember when you're owning someone's ass, to give a special thanks to your boy over here, who is working hard to keep you all educated on the finer points of the net.

[JackDRipper]

With the risk of ending too far up kill_em_all's ass... i will go forth with saying that this was the most educative peace of read I have stumbled accross at FuckYou.com...

:appl:

TELL US MORE

:appl:

[Kill_em_All]

*bows*

[Voodoo]

Hip Hip.... Hoooray!

[Mad Mountie]

You da man Kill...though I noticed you left out details on what to do if your opponent isn't capable of understanding basic english, and simply doesn't realise that they've had their ass owned.


Any suggestions?

[Kill_em_All]

In some cases, it's best to walk away.

[negativecool]

:headbang:

[old_skooler888]

Ze Brilliant Espeets!!!

[kissmyarse]

LMAO, you are great

[DarkShadow13X]

bravo...

[Severina]

An amusing view on Flamers To view links in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. Your post count is 0 momentarily.

[The Saint]

:appl:
Thank you for the lesson. I will use this wisdom but only if one truely is:

A) posting in moronic (known as a less evoluted language)
B) gets on my nerves
C) doesn't say please

[Candid_Criminal]

Very educational, I'll be sure to take more "Shit Ruining" classes in College:thumb:

[Starcloud]

:appl:

[The Saint]

:bump: some may find some inspiration in this...

[mcsmc]

Everything I already know, packaged with some humor. Sweet.

[b0nz]

Everything I already know, packaged with some humor. Sweet.

uhhh. you should be taking notes dude.

thanks kill. im so enlightened on the art of flaming now. i think im gonna go ruin some n00bs.

[\/iolator]

I read better.........on bathroom stall walls talkin about yo momma.....

[|ReapeR|]

In the vast expanse that is the internet a trend has begun to make it's way from site to site. That trend is the flame. The flame can be dated back to the earliest days of the internet when giant office-sized computers that required nothing short of a crew to operate could be used to send coded messages back and forth between locations, when the first poor sucker recieved text that simply read "ur mom". It was the beginning of an era that would dominate the world of web-forums for years to come, and provide countless hours of joy to millions of internet surfers during the time between masturbating and stealing music. In rememberance of that first poor sap, and since few can deny that I am a fucking pro at the topic of discussion, I now bring to you The Art of the Flame.

There are many different ways to flame, but only one that is overwhealmingly successful. This type of flame is what I like to call "verbally ruining someone's shit". This sort of flame cannot be contradicted and will instantly crown you king (or queen) of the flame at hand. I will demonstrate a typical verbal shit ruining for your reading pleasure:



TheMan (Me, duh): What an articulate post! Speaking of mothers, I am relatively certain that yours is proud. What parent wouldn't be elated to have an offspring who is as equally brilliant as he is well-spoken? People would agree that you make the internet the overwhealming success that is. My suggestion to you is before you respond, take the time that you were going to spend doing so and dial up your local community college to register for a remedial English class. Then come back when you can keep up with, at best, the most retarded fucking dunce on this site, you mindless waste of human flesh.

This is a prime example of the verbal shit ruining. It's not very laconic in nature, and requires a little bit of thought, but it definately gets the point across, and ultimately let's people know that you mean business.

If you payed close attention, you would have noticed that at the end of my flame I closed with a direct insult. This is very important in the verbal shit ruining. It is what I like to call "a deal closer". A deal closer is used to let the opposite flamer know that you know what he/she is all about. You know they're a worthless piece of shit, they know it, and the deal closer makes them aware that you know. A short list of deal closers would include (but is certainly not limited to) such paraphrases as:

, you fucking dipshit
, you ill-educated cunt
, you backwoods, country, shit-kicking, fucking DNA swap-meet
, you fucking clown shoe
, you product of an inbred abortion gone wrong
, you dumbass twat

There are many more, none of which I am inclined to list right now because I don't fucking have to.

The verbal shit ruining is clearly the best method of flaming to use, as you take a direct approach to letting the cock inhaler on the other end know that you aren't bullshitting, you have the sack to counter any and everything they throw your way, and you can do it in a manner that uses proper fucking English.

There are, of course, rules to flaming. Disqualifiers are definately present in many flame wars, although they generally don't end the flame. Such disqualifiers include (but again, are not limited to) the following:

1. Abbreviating the words "you", "your", or "you're". This eliminates you. Period. If you have to abbreviate four-letter words, you're either an inept fucking moron, or you're just plain lazy. Either way, you lose.

2. Referring to the opposite flamers mother (particularly when that reference also contains the abbreviated forms of the previously mentioned words, ie; "ur mom"). This is a very important rule. Honestly, if you participate in a flame, you should have enough mental capacity to focus directly on the opposing flamer and not bring his mother into the picture. This rule has an amendment, however.
a. One may refer to the opposing flamer's mother, if done so articulately. Simply stating that one had intercourse with the opposing flamer's mother is not good enough, however suggesting that one had forcable anal intercourse with an opposing flamer's mother while Ed McMahon masturbated in the corner wearing his grandmother's panties and smothering himself in peanut butter is perfectly acceptable (although not encouraged).

3. The use of the fucking CAPS LOCK KEY. You know, I used to type in all caps too, until I realized that I didn't want to end up fixing toilets for a living. Turn your fucking caps lock off, moron.

4. Thread hijacking. For those of you who don't know what thread hijacking is, it is when some moron decides to come into a thread that, until that point, was on topic. Changing the topic to start a flame war with either the topic starter, or anyone posting a reply is grounds for instant disqualification. The chances are, you will inevidably hijack a thread in your quest to be a dominant force in the world of flaming. Even yours truly has done it. If you have to hijack a thread, just make sure that you come back ten times stronger in another post to make up for it.

So that pretty much covers it (at least that's all I feel like writing right now because I just found nudes of Madonna on Mr. Skin. Deal with it). Now that you have been versed in the art of the flame, get out there and shit on someone's good day. Do it randomly. Take no prisoners, and pay special attention to hippies, liberals, democrats, homosexual males, and presbyterians. Just remember when you're owning someone's ass, to give a special thanks to your boy over here, who is working hard to keep you all educated on the finer points of the net.
this is a usefull guide for n00bs who are new to flaming wonderful article

[graefffx]

Hi Kill. I read this a while back. Recently, I got into a spat with a well known shitslinger here at FY. I applied some of the simple principles you offered and proceeded to systematically destroy this pompous asshole, giving him a bitch beating that Ike Turner would have been proud of. Then I hit my stride and things started playing out like an al-Jazeera beheading video, and I stayed just to watch his lips twitch for a while. I left, then I merrily returned to see that someone else had nailed his coffin shut. Then I forked the thread twice just to pick at his carcass and make sure he recieved a proper burial in an ample amount of feces. Alas, this is where I began to ponder a valid point in relation to your article here: At what point should one start to feel guilty, and how much is really 'enough'?

Is it when your mark's friends start showing up in the thread apologizing profusely for what a fucking twit he is?

Is it when you find yourself humming the theme to Excalibur as you are preparing your next post?

Is it when your mark's mother calls the cops, writes congress, and shows up herself begging you to stop torturing her idiotic fuckstain of a son?

Perhaps, as we say in the military, "the situation will dictate". Anyhow, I wanted to say thanks for your guidance and tutelage in this article and say that I have had allot of fun at this website.

[Kill_em_All]

At what point should one start to feel guilty, and how much is really 'enough'?

Guilt? NEVER feel guilty. Show no quarter. If time permits, stay on their ass until they either give up, or you pass out from lack of sleep. This is the internet, bud. We're all anonymous.

I'm personally not here to make friends. I have enough of those outside of this little box of wires and plugs to satisfy my desire for friendship. I'm here to be entertained at other people's expense, and therefore won't quit until I'M ready.

[fartmouth]

Guilt? NEVER feel guilty. Show no quarter. If time permits, stay on their ass until they either give up, or you pass out from lack of sleep. This is the internet, bud. We're all anonymous.

I'm personally not here to make friends. I have enough of those outside of this little box of wires and plugs to satisfy my desire for friendship. I'm here to be entertained at other people's expense, and therefore won't quit until I'M ready.

What could be more true? This might be my favorite thing ever. This might be the smartest, least idiotic, least pathetic groveling for acceptance and validation I have ever seen on the Internet in my entire life. If you see the Internet and you think anything other than, "Wow, an environment in which I can anonymously belittle people's pathetic attempts at expressing themselves," then you are missing something, in my opinion. It is amusing, and it is for entertainment purposes. But in the end, perhaps there are a few people who will hesitate before spewing their vapid, stupid bullshit out into the world next time. In other words, I am a humanitarian and providing a valuable community service...

[asshole]

I think that everyone here should clean the come off there faces from sucking kills cock. Although I doubt that I could match writing skill against him. I do have enough dignity to not stroke him and let him come on my face. You guys suck so much ass that you wipe the shit off your lips.

[fartmouth]

So you're proud of yourself because you didn't give a thumbs up to this article. Congratulations: like all true losers, you think that by belittling other people you make yourself seem cool for doing nothing. How's your mom's basement been treating you lately? Maybe you should start making your own bed, eh? Put down the PlayStation and go find an actual life.

[In You Eye]

What a pathetic parade of suck-uppery this thread is. One quarter-way decent post from Kill_him_Self, and a trail of of drooling stool samples falling from his ass.









Oooh save me from the scary e-tough guys.

[Kill_em_All]

Bump, because obviously some of you need a lesson or two.

[In You Eye]

Heh, Fuck You.

Flame Contest in Hells Kitchen.

$500 minimum in prize money.

Go flame if you can...
Stay and ban if you can't.

[jimbeam]

hell yeah

[Kill_em_All]

Another one in need of a bump.

[In You Eye]

Hells Kitchen $500 Flame Championship at Flame4Cash!




Sign-ups are now underway for the Flame4Cash $500 Hells Kitchen Flame Championship.

Have you got game? Can you bring the flame?

Fuck no, but don't miss out on the biggest flame tournament ever anyway.

Rep your site, rep yourself, and if a comet wipes out all other life on the planet; you may even win some cash!

The first 32 verified entrants will compete for cash prizes totaling $500.00

Details and Sign-Ups at Flame4Cash





Act quickly before the hit jealous staff here censors this message.

[Kill_em_All]

Hells Kitchen $500 Flame Championship at Flame4Cash!




Sign-ups are now underway for the Flame4Cash $500 Hells Kitchen Flame Championship.

Have you got game? Can you bring the flame?

Fuck no, but don't miss out on the biggest flame tournament ever anyway.

Rep your site, rep yourself, and if a comet wipes out all other life on the planet; you may even win some cash!

The first 32 verified entrants will compete for cash prizes totaling $500.00

Details and Sign-Ups at Flame4Cash





Act quickly before the hit jealous staff here censors this message.


While I should fuckin ban your ass for posting another website's info on this site, I'm intrigued and will cut you a break considering the degree of interest I have in this.

[In You Eye]

Mail.









Still a few slots left! Act now!

[p0temNtheyplace]

quality read there..yeah i got banned for thread ejaculating

[In You Eye]

quality read there..yeah i got banned for thread ejaculating

Flame: Hells Kitchen






You: Spamatorium

[PlaYThEWoRlD]

I have to give it to you Kill. This is a very educated and thought out. I however, will not give you "props" just because you think you are a god at "verbally ruining someone's shit." You could not have thought up a more ridiculous way to put that. You have all of these really educated words and then all of a sudden it's just like someone dropped a stupid pill in your Cheerios that morning. Also, matching wits and engaging in reparte with internet junkies is like throwing rocks at the mentally handicapped. These illiterate, sensless fools will always need some asshole to poke fun at them though, so why not that asshole be you.

[FQall]

nice nice

[In You Eye]

The Flame4Cash $500 Hells Kitchen Flame Championship is here!









1st Round Matches begin Monday, April 2nd, at 12:00am PST.

[tarsan]

With the risk of ending too far up kill_em_all's ass... i will go forth with saying that this was the most educative peace of read I have stumbled accross at FuckYou.com...


no...its not lol...i will make one..

[In You Eye]

While I should fuckin ban your ass for posting another website's info on this site, I'm intrigued and will cut you a break considering the degree of interest I have in this.

yeah yeah








Your 1st round match has posted in Hells Kitchen... Don't tard out.

[In You Eye]

Hahaha, for all of his bluster, Kill is getting punked at F4$...









Hail your hero FY!

[Larry King]

Hahaha, for all of his bluster, Kill is getting punked at F4$...









Hail your hero FY!

Man, you guys are fucking crazy.

[p0temNtheyplace]

Shut Up..

[nos33]

amen brother

[dnb1ackenator]

i've got to bump this one

[lilnick]

very educational i learned a little bit today

[akaMINUS]

flame on!!

[akaMINUS]

i do feel a bit educated

[asher67]

Great bit of history. Thanks.