Kill_em_All
05-10-2006, 07:26 AM
Let me just start off by saying fuck magic.Magic sucks.
I think we’re all aware by now that any magic performance is nothing more than a few parlor tricks that some asshole has perfected by having entirely too much free time on his hands on account of being an unemployed loser who lives in his mother’s basement.
If you believe that magic stems from some archaic form of conjure and is a direct result of some sort of spiritual connection, I wish nothing less than a fucking skull fracture for you.
Magic is bullshit and the people who perform these tricks are fucking dorks.
One inept dipshit seems to stand out from the crowd as of late. That dipshit is none other than Mr. David Blaine.
This guy is a tool.
Blaine started out some years ago peddling his wares on street corners in New York City, performing card tricks on tourists, foreigners, transients, and parolees. All very intelligent and astute members of society.
He’d essentially walk up to a person or group of persons and wow them with some stupid fucking card trick.
Then of course the idiot(s) on the receiving end of the trick would stand there in awe asking repeatedly how he did it as if Blaine was somehow capable of altering the space/time continuum to achieve the greatness that is pulling a fucking card from behind someone’s ear.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
I’ll tell you how idiots how he did it: He ordered a fucking $3.00 book of card tricks on Amazon and practiced for seventeen hours a day.
There’s no hidden talent to performing card tricks. There’s no spiritual connection, no higher power, or whimsical ancient art that renders this giant douche capable of pulling a card out of his colon. Its all just smoke and mirrors, and you’re all fucking clueless cocks for thinking anything otherwise.
I guess that eventually the luster of stupid card tricks began to wear, as Blaine has recently shifted focus from mystifying idiots on street corners to attempting stupid feats that, in his own words, “test the boundaries of human stamina”.
Eat shit.
Hey asshole, suspending yourself from a crane, enclosed in a plexiglass crate for a few days isn’t testing the boundaries of human stamina. Thousands of people are forced to perform virtually the same feat on a daily basis. They’re called convicts. The only time hoards of people flock to jock convicts if they’re about to be executed, and the people doing the jocking are probably the same ones that buy into David Blaine.
People like the asshole that decided that this was a good idea:
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Oooh. Ahhh. Hanging from a crane is so mystifying. How does he do it?!
This guy isn’t a magician, he’s a fucking idiot, and he proved it the other day by locking himself in a glass sphere filled with water and trying to hold his breath to beat the nine-minute world record. At about seven minutes, Blaine started convulsing and freaking out. I guess I’d be convulsing too if confronted with the fact that I wasn’t going to be breaking any records and millions of people were simultaneously changing the channel to watch Family Guy.
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Here’s Blaine on a magical ambulance ride to the whimsical world of the E.R
I’ve got some advice for David Blaine:
“Testing the boundaries of human stamina” isn’t locking yourself in a glass bubble filled with water for seven days. You want to test human stamina? Work a full time job that doesn’t pay you nearly as much as you’re worth, has the worst benefits possible, allows you virtually no free time, is supervised by a fucking degenerate, and provides no pension or retirement funds.
And just to sweeten the deal, do it for the next thirty years.
Want to up your stamina? Try being a single mother of six kids without any support from the father(s), the government, society, or anyone else. Try working two, dead-end jobs to provide for a family that you never get a chance to spend time with. Try hauling around six, screaming bastards in the backseat of a 79’ Dodge, in July, with no air conditioning, on your way to the grocery store to spend the whopping $83.00 that the state has deemed an appropriate amount of assistance to support the stomachs of six kids.
And again, to sweeten the deal, do it for the next thirty years.
Surviving that bullshit without having a fucking heart attack would be a fucking test of human stamina, you pious, arrogant, douche bag.
I hate this fucking guy and anyone that supports him by cheering his stupid ass on. The city of New York actually spent tax dollars paying police to guard the area of his last failed attempt at “magic”. And let’s not forget the lives that were potentially lost due to tying up paramedics for countless hours to watch over him for seven days, and ultimately haul his dumb ass to the hospital.
I can honestly say that I’d be a happier person if someone would put a bullet in this guy’s skull. Hey, maybe I can convince him that I’m a magician whose trick is that I can shoot a guy in the head and not kill him. Then, when he dies, act like the trick went horribly wrong.
Yeah, that would own.
I think we’re all aware by now that any magic performance is nothing more than a few parlor tricks that some asshole has perfected by having entirely too much free time on his hands on account of being an unemployed loser who lives in his mother’s basement.
If you believe that magic stems from some archaic form of conjure and is a direct result of some sort of spiritual connection, I wish nothing less than a fucking skull fracture for you.
Magic is bullshit and the people who perform these tricks are fucking dorks.
One inept dipshit seems to stand out from the crowd as of late. That dipshit is none other than Mr. David Blaine.
This guy is a tool.
Blaine started out some years ago peddling his wares on street corners in New York City, performing card tricks on tourists, foreigners, transients, and parolees. All very intelligent and astute members of society.
He’d essentially walk up to a person or group of persons and wow them with some stupid fucking card trick.
Then of course the idiot(s) on the receiving end of the trick would stand there in awe asking repeatedly how he did it as if Blaine was somehow capable of altering the space/time continuum to achieve the greatness that is pulling a fucking card from behind someone’s ear.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
I’ll tell you how idiots how he did it: He ordered a fucking $3.00 book of card tricks on Amazon and practiced for seventeen hours a day.
There’s no hidden talent to performing card tricks. There’s no spiritual connection, no higher power, or whimsical ancient art that renders this giant douche capable of pulling a card out of his colon. Its all just smoke and mirrors, and you’re all fucking clueless cocks for thinking anything otherwise.
I guess that eventually the luster of stupid card tricks began to wear, as Blaine has recently shifted focus from mystifying idiots on street corners to attempting stupid feats that, in his own words, “test the boundaries of human stamina”.
Eat shit.
Hey asshole, suspending yourself from a crane, enclosed in a plexiglass crate for a few days isn’t testing the boundaries of human stamina. Thousands of people are forced to perform virtually the same feat on a daily basis. They’re called convicts. The only time hoards of people flock to jock convicts if they’re about to be executed, and the people doing the jocking are probably the same ones that buy into David Blaine.
People like the asshole that decided that this was a good idea:
To view links in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. Your post count is 0 momentarily.
To view links in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. Your post count is 0 momentarily.
Oooh. Ahhh. Hanging from a crane is so mystifying. How does he do it?!
This guy isn’t a magician, he’s a fucking idiot, and he proved it the other day by locking himself in a glass sphere filled with water and trying to hold his breath to beat the nine-minute world record. At about seven minutes, Blaine started convulsing and freaking out. I guess I’d be convulsing too if confronted with the fact that I wasn’t going to be breaking any records and millions of people were simultaneously changing the channel to watch Family Guy.
To view links in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. Your post count is 0 momentarily.
Here’s Blaine on a magical ambulance ride to the whimsical world of the E.R
I’ve got some advice for David Blaine:
“Testing the boundaries of human stamina” isn’t locking yourself in a glass bubble filled with water for seven days. You want to test human stamina? Work a full time job that doesn’t pay you nearly as much as you’re worth, has the worst benefits possible, allows you virtually no free time, is supervised by a fucking degenerate, and provides no pension or retirement funds.
And just to sweeten the deal, do it for the next thirty years.
Want to up your stamina? Try being a single mother of six kids without any support from the father(s), the government, society, or anyone else. Try working two, dead-end jobs to provide for a family that you never get a chance to spend time with. Try hauling around six, screaming bastards in the backseat of a 79’ Dodge, in July, with no air conditioning, on your way to the grocery store to spend the whopping $83.00 that the state has deemed an appropriate amount of assistance to support the stomachs of six kids.
And again, to sweeten the deal, do it for the next thirty years.
Surviving that bullshit without having a fucking heart attack would be a fucking test of human stamina, you pious, arrogant, douche bag.
I hate this fucking guy and anyone that supports him by cheering his stupid ass on. The city of New York actually spent tax dollars paying police to guard the area of his last failed attempt at “magic”. And let’s not forget the lives that were potentially lost due to tying up paramedics for countless hours to watch over him for seven days, and ultimately haul his dumb ass to the hospital.
I can honestly say that I’d be a happier person if someone would put a bullet in this guy’s skull. Hey, maybe I can convince him that I’m a magician whose trick is that I can shoot a guy in the head and not kill him. Then, when he dies, act like the trick went horribly wrong.
Yeah, that would own.